I used to want to be like her. To wear my hair like her, to have a similar fashion sense as her, to decorate my home like her. But my hair didn't like being pulled and teased that way. It has this crazy flip thing that I can't seem to tame. And while those clothes looked great on her they fell differently on me and it simply wasn't the same. Those cute little decor items she had on her mantel and table? Well I didn't have a mantel and my young kids broke what I tried to leave on the table.
I wasn't living my life. Not to mention that when I tried that hairstyle? It was a pain and I was frustrated. Doing my hair how I liked doing it was so much easier. And I'm a total tshirt and jeans girl with some comfy kicks or flip flops. There are no heels for this chic. And how about no cutesy table decor. It becomes a piece of clutter in my eyes, no matter how nice it looks elsewhere. I stick with my bare table and LEGO filled shelves.
My thirties have brought about a revelation about who God created me to be. The unique talents I have, the silly personality, and things that make me light up. I am not made to grace the stage on Broadway. Oh sure, I'll belt out a tune in the shower or car, no problem, but there is no actual talent in this voice for song. I am made for talking though. I can get up in front of a crowd of strangers and share my heart, even the darkest and hardest times.
I'm loud and extroverted in a room full of people... most of the time. I can holler and call a room to attention with a goofy dance and not feel weird, even if other people think I am.
I make goofy faces in pictures and my signature face is a wide open smile.
I sing conversations and use movie or show quotes in daily life.
I love having fun and crazy colored hair. Right now I'm rocking some really faded aqua but hopefully that will change soon to something new, fun, and wild.
God didn't create me to be a buttoned up professional behind a desk. He created me with a desire to make people laugh, to feel connected, to be weird - even if that weird is totally normal to some and beyond comprehension to others. My weirdness is me. I need to be weird.
“God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’” Job 37:5-6 (NIV)
He created snow to fall to the earth. He created rain to be a downpour. He created me to be loud and quirky with the occasional quiet time. He created one of my kids to be bursting with all the emotions and another to keep emotions on the quiet side. He created me to find joy in reading and writing. He created Micah to find joy in Transformers and comics.
Don't try and live her life or their life or my life. Don't try to be her or him or them. Be you. Embrace who God has created you to be in Him. Discover the gifts, talents, and unique calling God has placed inside you. Be your own kind of weird.